The reason for my scheduled C-section is a fibroid tumour the size of a honeydew melon. To make things even more exciting my tumour is not only completely blocking the birth canal it's also positioned where a doctor would generally make the incision so I've been informed that they are going to need to "get creative", not the most encouraging words but I have faith in our hospital.
Friends and family are constantly asking me if I'm excited, if I'm prepared for baby and the truth of the matter is some days I am excited, some days I feel prepared but then there are other days where I'm absolutely terrified. Some days all I can think about is the giant scar that's going to be left behind, I consume myself with fears of things that could go wrong and yet I feel obligated to smile and put on a happy face because otherwise I feel like my ability to be a mother will be doubted.
I don't think anyone goes into their first pregnancy feeling completely prepared, I think there is a lot of pressure on women to paint pregnancy as this wonderful, spiritual experience when in reality sometimes pregnancy, to put it bluntly sucks. It can be scary, painful, depressing and no one can prepare you for that. I know there are other women who can relate to what I'm going through but it's like no one wants to talk about the unpleasant side, why that is I'm not sure but I think it's important which is why I'm sitting here writing this now so that maybe I can be of help to someone else.
Another fear I have is allowing motherhood to define me. I want this blog of focus on all of the things I love; fashion, beauty and cooking along with my journey into motherhood and a more frugal lifestyle. So, if you've made it here to the end of this post with me I thank you and hope that you will stick around and join me on this adventure chronicling all of the highs and lows.